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A Senior's View My son, John W. Payne, and grandson, Sam G. Payne, arrived from Purcellville, Va., Saturday, Aug. 9. They flew to the Bay Area Friday, staying all night with my daughterin law, Charlotte Payne. After renting a car, they drove up the coastal route, Highway 101, so Sam could see the redwoods. When family or friends arrive, I turn off the TV so we can visit. However, Sam wanted to watch a "Law and Order" program, which we did. When another program came on, I started visiting. John said: "Mother, we're watching TV." I replied: "Oh, John, I had no idea you came 3,300 miles to watch TV." We visited until he was tired and went to bed. Sunday, we went to The Nugget for breakfast, my lunch and breakfast. Upon arriving home, John decided he'd clean my front porch. It did need it. Sam sat in the living room with his computer and watching TV. I suggested he help his Dad. He looked surprised and said: "Grandma, I'm on vacation. I didn't come here to work." I replied in a very soft voice, as I held his chin to look directly at me: "Sam, you came here to visit me, your grandmother, and to help in any way needed because you love me as much as I love you." He didn't help his Dad, but he came over to the dining room table and we had a nice visit. Sam has attention deficit disorder (ADD) and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). His parents are divorced but he is with his dad most of the time. I realize how easy it is to over compensate when a child has a disability. I believe disabilities, sometimes, prove a blessing. It gives strength and courage. We watched the television program "Monk" and Sam said: "Grandma, that's what I have." We discussed it and remarked how the actor used the positive way of a disability. I'm sharing this because I feel there is entirely too much discrimination. When I was grade school age, children with similar problems were not separated and sent to different schools. We learned to accept the differences in behavior and to accept others for the way they were. It teaches compassion, understanding, acceptance and radiates self-esteem.
I remember when John was in grade school, he came home one day very upset. One of the students had called him "limpy." John did have a limp because he had a dislocated hip when born and surgery was necessary. I explained that it was better to have a limpy leg than a limpy head. He came home from school the next day, feeling much better. He had called the intolerant boy a "lame brain"!
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